My Love-Hate Relationship with Programming

When I first started programming in college, I found it amazing how pretty much anything you can imagine, could be done with the right bit of code. This lead me into going into Computer Science over Mechanical Engineering at university. Though once I got into university, I found that my love for programming was very quickly being drained from me, ultimately leading me to drop out of my course and start a slightly different career.

Well, after being against the idea of doing programming for a couple of years, I’ve started to get back into it again. Following the creation of Wolf Bot, which has been massively overhauled a couple of times since that post, I’ve found myself writing more and more scripts for daily tasks once again.

I now find myself on a near-daily basis thinking of new tools that I could create, admittedly most of these ideas will never come to light, but that doesn’t matter. I now even have a Discord bot, that helps me manage one of the Discord servers I’m an admin for and provides cute pictures to people on demand. By writing this bot, I have started to get a better understanding of asynchronous programming, and how to handle promises, which was an odd thing to get around to me. As pretty much all the programming I had done in the past has been synchronous and had little to no interaction with external systems. N.B. To save myself a massive amount of time, I am using Discord(dot)js which is a really well-made library, with some wonderful documentation.

Working on these programs has given me a new way of thinking, which is wonderful, but from working on these, I still believe that I could never go into programming full time. As I don’t want to lose interest in the problem solving that is programming again. The main issue I have with becoming a programmer or something on those lines, is that I don’t want to be forced into working on code I don’t find interesting, as I’ve found the second I lose interest in the system I am writing, it becomes trash. I found this out mostly from the AHK script I have written to help myself at work. Even though it saves me a massive amount of time at work, whenever I need to update some part of it, I look at all the code and have no idea what half of it does and the parts I do still fully understand, I look at it thinking “Why did I write it like that?”. As even over the very short period of time I have been back into programming, I have increased my skills massively, so looking at my older code hurts. Thus, why all my code repos on GitLab are private and I never plan to share them, even though doing so would probably help me get out there a bit better. I am just too ashamed of my bad code.